Funny: Stupid Hacker
I had seen this little story a while ago, but I just found it again and it still makes me laugh. So I decided to share it.
Something nice I read on www.stophiphop.de (got pointed there by a comment
on www.macguardians.de) is this nice story of a hacker:
http://www.beast.mos-worlds.de
down, quite a lot of people are reading this).
In case you don't speak german (just as this hacker), I've tried a little
translation to english. I might have made some spelling errors, but the
original spelling wasn't perfect either. The guy really said "buy buy" in
the german version. I've posted this on the forum on
http://www.desertcombat.com before, so if this looks familiar, might be the
same. I've corrected some mistakes and put the < > back to the right version
(The DC forum does not support them). All censoring was done by this
particular forum here.
Notice that in germany we get DST earlier than in the US.
The story starts (I'm shortcutting here) with an [Please control your
cussing] insulting everyone on the IRC channel. Most people there believed
it was rather funny, but it got even more funny. For information: The
dangerous hacker is called bitchchecker and the one being hacked and
original author of the comments, who is talking here, is known as Elch.
127.0.0.1 is always the IP-adress of the computer you're currently using,
any request there will return to your computer.
QUOTE
* bitchchecker (~java@euirc-a97f9137.dip.t-dialin
* bitchchecker (~java@euirc-61a2169c.dip.t-dialin
#stopHipHop
<bitchchecker> why do you kick me
<bitchchecker> can't you discus normally
<bitchchecker> answer!
<Elch> we didn't kick you
<Elch> you had a ping timeout: * bitchchecker
(~java@euirc-a97f9137.dip.t-dialin
<bitchchecker> what ping man
<bitchchecker> the timing of my pc is right
<bitchchecker> i even have dst
<bitchchecker> you banned me
<bitchchecker> amit it you son of a bitch
<HopperHunter|afk> LOL
<HopperHunter|afk> shit you're stupid, DST^^
<bitchchecker> shut your mouth WE HAVE DST!
<bitchchecker> for two weaks already
<bitchchecker> when you start your pc there is a message from windows that
DST is applied.
<Elch> You're a real computer expert
<bitchchecker> shut up i hack you
<Elch> ok, i'm quiet, hope you don't show us how good a hacker you are ^^
<bitchchecker> tell me your network number man then you're dead
<Elch> Eh, it's 129.0.0.1
<Elch> or maybe 127.0.0.1
<Elch> yes exactly that's it: 127.0.0.1 I'm waiting for you great attack
<bitchchecker> in five minutes your hard drive is deleted
<Elch> Now I'm frightened
<bitchchecker> shut up you'll be gone
<bitchchecker> i have a program where i enter your ip and you're dead
<bitchchecker> say goodbye
<Elch> to whom?
<bitchchecker> to you man
<bitchchecker> buy buy
<Elch> I'm shivering thinking about such great Hack0rs like you
* bitchchecker (~java@euirc-61a2169c.dip.t-dialin
What happened is clear: That guy entered his own IP-Adress in his mighty
Hack-Tool and crashed his own PC. This way, the attack on my PC was a
failure. I was already starting to think that I did not have to worry, but a
good hacker never calls it a day. Two minutes later he returned.
QUOTE
* bitchchecker (~java@ euirc-b5cd558e.dip.t-dialin
#stopHipHop
<bitchchecker> dude be happy my pc crashed otherwise you'd be gone
<Metanot> lol
<Elch> bitchchecker: Then try hacking me again... I still have the same IP:
127.0.0.1
<bitchchecker> you're so stupid man
<bitchchecker> say buy buy
<Metanot> ah, [Please control your cussing] off
<bitchchecker> buy buy elch
* bitchchecker (~java@euirc-b5cd558e.dip.t-dialin
There was a tension in the room... Would he manage, after these two
failures, to crash my PC? I waited. Nothing happened. I felt relieve... Six
minutes passed by until he prepared the next wave of attack. Being a Hacker,
who usually cracks whole data centers, he knew what his problem was now.
QUOTE
* bitchchecker (~java@euirc-9ff3c180.dip.t-dialin
#stopHipHop
<bitchchecker> elch you son of a bitch
<Metanot> bitchchecker how old are you?
<Elch> What's up bitchchecker?
<bitchchecker> you have a frie wal
<bitchchecker> fire wall
<Elch> maybe, i don't know
<bitchchecker> i'm 26
<Metanot> such behaviour with 26?
<Elch> how did you find out that I have a firewall?
<Metanot> tststs this is not very nice missy
<bitchchecker> because your gay fire wall directed my turn off signal back
to me
<bitchchecker> be a man turn that shit off
<Elch> cool, didn't know this was possible.
<bitchchecker> thn my virus destroys your pc man
<Metanot> are you hacking yourselves?
<Elch> yes bitchchecker is trying to hack me
<Metanot> he bitchchecker if you're a hacker you have to get around a
firewall even i can do that
<bitchchecker> yes man i hack the elch but the sucker has a fire wall the
<Metanot> what firewall do you have?
<bitchchecker> like a girl
<Metanot> firewall is normal a normal hacker has to be able to get past
it...you girl^^
<He> Bitch give yourself a jackson and chill you're letting them provoce you
and give those little girls new material all the time
<bitchchecker> turn the firewall off then i send you a virus [Please control
your cussing]er
<Elch> Noo
<Metanot> he bitchchecker why turn it off, you should turn it off
<bitchchecker> you're afraid
<bitchchecker> i don't wanna hack like this if he hides like a girl behind a
fire wall
<bitchchecker> elch turn off your shit wall!
<Metanot> i wanted to say something about this, do you know the definition
of hacking??? if he turns of the firewall that's an invitation and that has
nothing to do with hacking
<bitchchecker> shut up
<Metanot> lol
<bitchchecker> my grandma surfs with fire wall
<bitchchecker> and you suckers think you're cool and don't dare going into
the internet without a fire wall
He calls me girly and says only his grandma would use a firewall. I know
that elder people are much more intelligent then younger, but I couldn't let
that rest. To see whether he really is a good hacker I lie and let
everything as it is. I don't have a firewall at all, only my router.
QUOTE
<Elch> bitchchecker, a collegue showed me how to turn the firewall off. Now
you can try again
<Metanot> bitchhacker can't hack
<Black<TdV>> nice play on words ^^
<bitchchecker> wort man
<Elch> bitchchecker: I'm still waiting for your attack!
<Metanot> how many times again he is no hacker
<bitchchecker> man do you want a virus
<bitchchecker> tell me your ip and it deletes your hard drive
<Metanot> lol ne give it up i'm a hacker myself and i know how hackers
behave and i can tell you 100.00% you're no hacker..^^
<Elch> 127.0.0.1
<Elch> it's easy
<bitchchecker> lolololol you so stupid man you'll be gone
<bitchchecker> and are the first files being deleted
<Elch> mom...
<Elch> i'll take a look
In panic I started the Windows Explorer, my heart beating faster. Had I
under-estimated him?
QUOTE
<bitchchecker> don't need to rescue you can't son of a bitch
<Elch> that's bad
<bitchchecker> elch you idiout your hard drive g: is deleted
<Elch> yes, there's nothing i can do about it
<bitchchecker> and in 20 seconds f: is gone
Yes, true, G: and F: were gone. Did I ever have them? Doesn't matter, I did
not have time to think, I was scared. bitchchecker was comforting me with a
music tip.
QUOTE
<bitchchecker> tupac rules
<bitchchecker> elch you son of a bitch your f: is gone and e: too
Drive E:? Oh my god... All the games are there! And the vacation pictures! I
instantly take a look. Everything still there. But the hacker said it was
deleted....
Or isn't it happening on my computer?
QUOTE
<bitchchecker> and d: is at 45% you idiot lolololol
<He> why doesn't meta say anything
<Elch> he's probably rolling on the floor laughing
<Black<TdV>> ^^
<bitchchecker> your d: is gone
<He> go on BITCH
The guy is good: My CD-drive is allegedly deleted! Bitchchecker turned my
ancient disk sucker into a burner! But how did he do this? I'll have to ask
him. Some encourage him. He himself is giving advice how to avoid the
disaster on my hard drives.
QUOTE
<bitchchecker> elch man you're so stupid never give your ip on the internet
<bitchchecker> i'm already at c: 30 percent
Should I tell him he's not attacking my computer?
QUOTE
* bitchchecker (~java@euirc-9ff3c180.dip.t-dialin
Too late... It's 20:22 when we get the last message of our hacker with the
alias "bitchchecker". We see that he has a "Ping timeout". We haven't seen
him since then... must be the Daylight Saving Time.
posted by Jason at 9/11/2005 01:38:00 PM
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